Welcome back to Brisbane, Australia — or as I now call it, the land that tries to murder you with distance and snakes.
Our last visit was the glamorous Ultimate World Cruise on March 11, 2024. This time we did it the peasant way: a brutal 24-hour journey from Dunedin, Florida, with layovers in Dallas and Los Angeles, finally collapsing into Brisbane at 5 a.m. We looked (and felt) like we’d been stuffed in the overhead bin the entire way. That’s the real reason we don’t come back more often. They don’t call it “Down Under” for nothing — it’s clearly a public health warning about what jet lag does to innocent humans.
Staggering through the airport like zombies, we spotted a delightful sign: “Beware of Snakes.” Yikes. Australia really knows how to roll out the welcome mat.
Luckily, no snakes made an appearance. Our Uber driver was a lovely Chinese lady who spoke zero English but somehow still got us to the hotel. Communication was mostly enthusiastic nodding and prayer. As long as she understood “hotel,” we were golden.
After 13 hours of pretending to sleep on a plane, all we wanted was a bed. The Meriton Suites staff took one look at our ragged, half-dead bodies and kindly let us check in at 10 a.m. instead of 3 p.m. I almost hugged the poor woman. She clearly saw we were one stiff breeze away from becoming a lobby ornament. Five-star review incoming.
The rest of Day 1 was officially dedicated to horizontal recovery. We did manage to drag ourselves out around 6 p.m. because stomachs were staging a protest. It was Good Friday, so Queen Street Mall — normally a glorious outdoor food paradise — had turned into a culinary ghost town. Most places shut at noon like responsible adults.
After a desperate search, we found salvation at Hungry Jack’s (Australia’s version of Burger King). We didn’t care that it was fast food. We inhaled those burgers like it was our last meal on Earth, then shuffled into a convenience store for emergency water and soda.
Back to the hotel for more sleep. Our bodies were not happy with us and made their feelings very clear. Tomorrow will be a better day!
May God bless you always!
Chuck & Lea Ann
WorldTravelReynolds 