Welcome to Expedition Life (a.k.a. the Art of Dressing Like a Michelin Man Twice a Day)

*Above is our path/map of where we are going*

If you thought a regular cruise is “pack a swimsuit and flip-flops,” you’ve clearly never signed up for an Antarctica expedition. Today was basically Expedition Travel 101, and my body is already filing a complaint.

*This is layer one, aka long underwear. Very thin since we have to put on so many layers but oh so warm!*

We got to “sleep in” until… 6:45 a.m. (luxury? I think not!). Then it was straight to breakfast and a full morning of mandatory briefings, because when you’re heading to the most protected wilderness on Earth, somebody has to teach the humans how to behave.

*My cute model here is sporting layer* two, the warming layer. Soft and flexible material and still thin. We rented this layer from the company as well as our gloves and gaitor to keep our neck warm.

Briefing #1: Gear

For tomorrow’s landing on the west side of the Falklands the air temp is a balmy 54 °F, so we’re allowed to drop from three layers to “just” one base layer plus the giant red Silversea parka that basically swallows me. However… wind + Zodiac surf spray = full waterproof pants and muck boots are still mandatory. Picture putting on a wetsuit made of lead. Sexy? No. Necessary? 100 %.

*Layer 3, part 1 of parka and waterproof pants and gaiter around neck, all provided by cruiseline.*

The daily routine will soon be burned into muscle memory:

Dress in every single layer + HEAVY life vest in the cabin
Waddle to the Mud Room like colorful marshmallows
Pull on knee-high rubber boots
Board Zodiac, might get soaked anyway
Return, scrub boots in disinfectant vats (biosecurity is serious business)
Hang boots on our numbered shelf
Waddle back upstairs, (luckily we are living on deck 4, mudroom – deck 3) peel off layers that may be wet from water or from perspiring profusely under all the layers, shower, put on dry clothes
Repeat in 24 hours unless we have two stops or we venture out twice. I’m calling it the Antarctic Fitness Program .

*Final layer, just missing mud boots that we put on in mudroom. Red Parka, hat, gloves and lifevest*. *Not shown is the drybag/backpack that you have to carry everywhere*

Briefing #2: “How Not to Be THAT Tourist” (aka Biosecurity)

The Falklands and everywhere south of here are insanely protected. Rules in a nutshell:

Stay 15 feet from wildlife (unless they decide you’re interesting and waddle over—then you freeze like a statue)
No sitting on the ground, no crouching to take a photo, no putting backpacks down, everything carried at all times (my back is already screaming just listening to this)
Penguins have the right-of-way on their “highways” (also, those highways are basically poop rivers—boots suddenly make sense)
Do NOT pick up rocks, grass, or (apparently) baby penguins

*Our suite was so nice and cozy. Enough room especially considering all the dressing and undressing that goes on.*

Yes, someone once pocketed a penguin chick “because it looked cold,” only discovered it 24 hours later by the crew, and the captain turned the entire ship around to return it. The passenger’s cruise was… terminated. Moral of the story: penguins are not souvenirs.

*Our living area was a good size compared to other cruises we have been on. The windows were so dirty we left the blinds closed and it also kept it warmer in the cabin.*

Chuck and I exchanged the classic “we’re too old for this but we paid too much to quit” glance when they said no sitting. But hey—adventure, right?

I snuck in a quick iPhone photography class (basically a refresher course in “don’t shoot into the sun, dummy”). The real classes on wildlife and landscapes come later. I’ll be front row, coffee in hand.

*The closet was awesome! So much room. It was great!*

And then… dinner magic happened. We’re sitting in the restaurant enjoying a truly excellent steak when someone yells “WHALES!” We counted at least twelve Sei whales feeding right off the ship—lots of flukes and water spray during their show. We didn’t experience any breaches yet. I was too polite (and too busy stuffing my face) to run for the camera. That politeness ends tomorrow. Camera stays on the dinner table from now on.

Tomorrow we hit the Falklands for real: New Island and West Point Island. Alarm is set for 5:30 a.m., our Zodiac group is #2 (early birds get the penguins), and there are nine Zodiacs rotating like a well-oiled penguin ferry. I’m equal parts excited and terrified my legs will work after today’s dress-rehearsal.

*And the shower was huge. Only issue we had is its a 1/2 door so water kept getting on the floor. Poor design in my opinioin*

So yeah, expedition travel in a nutshell: you pay a fortune to freeze, get soaked, follow stricter rules than kindergarten, and do more costume changes than a Vegas show… all for the privilege of watching whales crash your dinner and penguins judge your life choices from three feet away.

*The food was incredible. Our first night was lamb chops. Delish!*

10/10 would do it again. Send coffee and a physical therapists for my back and neck!

Penguin photos tomorrow, I promise (assuming I survive the 5:30 wake-up).

May God bless you always,

Chuck & Lea Ann

WorldTravelReynolds

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see. Gilbert K. Chesterton